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Well its been one of those days AGAIN were i had to make the right choice for me and stop tryn to help people out.So much has been going on in my life and head the last couple of months dealing with family and friends or even people i thought were my so called friends.So i thought if i wrote it out it would relieve sum of the weight.It just seems like i've been carring alot of people's problems on my back.And i try and give them advice sum listen sum dont but when they do they tell me i shouldve listend to you a long time ago.I had a talk with one of my good friends bout 6months ago and he said "look Nerv you always trying to help and please people and your streeing yourself out,you been doing this for as long as i've known you (9yrs) if these lame's don't care bout themselve's what makes you think they care bout you?You gotta do you and then be like yo i tried but they wanna stay miserable where they at,cause @ the end of the day misery loves company and its fucked up cause most of the time its the one's you love the most but if you keep aiding and helping they aint never gonna change,so it's time to do whats best for you,cause your a good person"When my boy told me this is woke up.This is from a person that don't speak unless its real talk and he's NEVER let me down or been wrong.It's when you care bout sumone so much that it hurts you to see them to make the same mistakes over and over again and you ask yourself "damn this person doesnt care about themselves what makes me think they care bout me?" And i'm mentally drained tryn to show them whats right in front of their face "like damn cant you see whats goin on!" and then i'm the bad guy for telln them to their face when all they do is hang out with "YES" friends that are goin downhill and drag'n them with them and they can't even see it.At the end of the day i just don't wanna see sumthing really bad to happen for them to wake up Or maybe bad things already happend and they try to block it out with substances like its all gonna go away.But in reality things get worse! Yeah i may be 33yrs old but i still dont know everything i'm still learning but in case's like this its just common sense that life isnt that hard!And being streessed out bout nothing is the worst!So here i am @ work and i wonder if sum of these people are ever gonna get it or where are they gonna end up? Kinda scary cause were not gonna live young forever.I had to learn the hard way and i'm glad i did cause and the end of the day when its all said and done bills have to be paid and getn hammerd doesnt do anything for you but make you look like you dont have control over your life and kill your liver.It's pretty fucked up when sumbody you love and give your 100% too leave's you for a bottle of alcohol or a few beers.It's like car crashes and and blanking out is isnt enough.This goes to any age.It like sumone that's really close to me growing up all he cared about was getting drunk and to this day is still @ the same point of his life and it makes me wonder like all the talks we've had never matter.And when i see people going down the same path it fucks me up to know the outcome.Yes i drink but i've learned to control it and drink plenty of water.And on that note you are who you hang out with thats why i cut alot of people off in my life cause they did more bad then good ya feel me.I mean i don't hate them but i gotta look out for me now.This isnt just for one person its for a couple of people sum that i'm happy for sum that i'm sad for but hope they wake up for their own good.
Sumtimes we just have to put your pride to the side and admit to our mistake's and we would be respected so much more! please leave me a comment and let me know what you think.Thanks for listening NERV
3 comments:
Hey Nerv, I feel you.
You don't know me, obviously, but I've been reading your Blog every now and then since randomly coming across your works of art and writing.
I know what that's like ... to love someone so much - family, friends, lovers, peoples - but yet you constantly wonder whether or not they love themselves which in turn makes you wonder if they love you back. It hurts and it plays with the head and soul, fo sho.
I mean, bottom line, they most likely DO love you, they do, but more often than not they're so wrapped up in the blind stupidity and chaos that surrounds their lives WHICH they themselves INVITE into their environment.
Whomever it is you are referring to know, hold it down and know this person DOES love you back. Her or she or they love you. Trust in that.
Trust in their soul.
since alcohol abuse is the culprit, i advise you to just Pray that he/she gets the help they need. you can't force them, they need to make their mistakes and learn from them. but always keep an eye open because they can't make logical decisions under the influence.
alcohol/drugs/sex - it's all so appealing. but you're right, we don't stay young forever. we age, and we reap the consequences. time is the only solution - if they allow that time to run long.
good luck man, and if all else fails, get the fuck outta that situation and RUN away fast. like you said, MISERY LOVES COMPANY - lots of it! whether that company is booze or a bunch of pretty faces
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